More Advice From The Gaytriarch   As many of you who read anything by me, you know that I am the self-titled, “Gaytriarch” of my family. In translation, this means that much like a matriarch or patriarch, I am the oldest gay in my family, giving me carte blanche to give advice to my gay cousins or anyone else younger than me. I know it all, I’m the all knowing and advice giving gay and should one of my younger gay relatives try to step in where the Gaytriarch is needed, believe me, they hear about it.   Well, when the site went up there were bound to be other boys in need of a Gaytriach’s assistance so here’s installment two of my latest write in for advice from “Billy” and my response about a next door neighbor at home whom he asked out. I’ve placed it in the actual order so you don’t have to read from the bottom up. (Yes, there’s a hideous gay joke in that last sentence)   Doesn’t everyone need a Gaytriarch and what did you do so long without one?   Billy: So things have been ok... i've decided to play my cards differently and put myself on the market. ironically though, over my christmas vacation my neighbor had wanted to "Experiment with me and I didn't refuse i just didn't accept. Now i know that at this day and age i'm pretty sexually active, so i've been thinking how guilty i would still feel. Were just friends my neighbor and I and i think it would be a good chance in trying to put myself on the market, not literally of course.   As it goes with my feelings with the one i've grown fond of, nothing's changed, we had already decided to room together next year but that had already been decided a while ago. getting an apartment and all actually. Except things have become complicated when we find an apartment he likes ALOT and i'm ok with it, but the only thing is, the apartment is a 4 occupancy apartment and he asked his other two room mates, one likes the idea, the other doesn't like thei deao f rooming with him another year.   Now its going to be difficult to diffuse the situation because i don't want to cause any tension between them for the rest of the year, so i think i'm going to try and either talk him into doing it, or work things out with his other roommate since his roommates were planning to room together next year. there isn't much time for the least to be signed so that we can guarentee the apartment, so i'm kind of worried as to how its going to go down.   Thanks for reading =] i hate sticky situations =p     Somelikeitscott: Okay, so has it taken me forever to write back or what? New job - working round the clock so please forgive...   I'm glad that you're trying to "move on" and put yourself on the market - (just be careful about putting yourself on the market at too cheap a cost to others as well as yourself). And as your new Jewish Gaytriarch I must remind you that being sexually active is fine, just be safe, will ya?   Look at you being the peace maker and mediator in the whole roommate thing. Good for you! Just remember drama is best left for the stage so the more we can avoid it sucking the life out of us in our supposed real lives the better. Always better and easier to do the right thing and it sounds as if that's exactly what you're doing.   Hang in there, be well and write whenever the mood strikes. Scott   Billy: So i'm not quite sure, but i've been asking people and i pretty much get the same reply and understanding... but heres the senario   In my movement of dating and trying to just deal with school and stuff, i wanted to ask this boy next door out on a date, (hes out but not trying to make a statement). So in my attempt what i said was so.   "I don't know how to ask this but, i was wondering if you were busy on valentines day?" "Valentines day? i don't know... what day is that?" "Thursday... and it seems like your thursday seems pretty busy." "Yea... sorry." "Well i was wondering if you'd be doing anything on the weekend?" "I don't know i'm pretty busy." "Well i was wondering if... i could take you out on a date?" "Um... i dont know, let me get back to you, I'll give you an IM."   Now mind you, this is my first time asking someone out on a date in person, i've grown up since then, but i'm just getting the feeling (even though hes a busy guy) that hes not interested in me and would rather me drop the whole thing in general. Now would you have taken the "i'll let you know" a rejection? Or should i really wait for some sort of reply? I'm just kind of surprised it didn't just go: "sorry i'm not interested." or "i'd like that." or something of the sort!   Thanks Billy   Somelikeitscott: Billy, You're very sweet and you also seem mature beyond your years so I've a feeling if you think about it for about three seconds you'll answer your own question.   No, he's not interested but that doesn't mean he can voice it to you (see mature comment above). You see, not everyone is evolved as you so it's easier for him to push off the inevitable than deal with it. Here's the deal 1) He lives next door, 2) He's not interested but knows he lives next door - that's awful squared in my math.   You also have to realize that leading with the Valentine's Day date idea was probably more than a little intense. It’s like asking someone you barely know to go to a wedding or some function where your entire family will be there. Too much, too soon, too often leads to no date.   Rejection doesn't lie around each corner, possibility does but until you get some practice at asking under belt (as opposed to whatever else happens below your belt with whomever you don't have to ask out) you'll never find the guy for you.   Suggestion time - next time, try something a little less threatening - don't call it a date. Ask - "Do you want to go see Cloverfield this weekend?" A movie is always a good thing to ask because there's no pressure for two hours as you watch the movie (except for the pressure you put on yourself as you wonder, "Did his thigh just touch mine on purpose?")coffee or something after creates the date without being "A DATE!" At the end of the evening, go in for a smooch or a follow up, "Hey, do you want to get dinner tomorrow night?"   How's that? Scott   Billy: So I walk into my Architecture Studio class and turn on my comp and my Instant messenger, SUDDENLY i got a huge wall of text from him and we talked. SO i need some commentary from you as I've actually asked several people and each of them have different responses as opposed to the same type of responses i got before the response. So i'm not asking YOU Mr. Experienced and Seasoned advisor to help me clear up the little details of this thing... cause i think I'm being an impatient teen. Thanks.   (3:46:35 PM) Him: Ok so, I've put a lot of thought into this, and apologize for the length of this message and not talking to you in person, but I can better express myself if I type it out. On Valentines day, I a mreally busy, but that would be no excuse, in reality, for avoiding a late night date. However, I've talked with my friends and done some soul searching, and, honestly, Billy I think you are a great guy, but I am frankly not ready to enter into any kind of relationship. Hell I'm scared shitless of a date. I spent so much time thinking about it because I wanted to make sure that the reason I am saying no is not simply out of fear, but rather out of my own ill-preparedness. To tell you the truth, I just came out to my friends the second half of my senior year, and my parents still have no idea I am gay. Personally, I feel that I cannot be honest with myself nor anyone else in my life on that personal level until I can be that honest with my folks, because they have always been there for me. I'm terribly sorry, I just need to really find myself and find a way I can be absolutely sure of who I am, mind, body, and soul in this respect before I risk hurting myself, or worse, anyone else. I am so flattered that you asked me out on a date, and you have no idea how bad I feel about this, so I hope you understand. (3:48:16 PM) Me: lol, well actually... i was going to talk to you after i came back and cancel the whole "date" thing... (3:48:30 PM) Me: and was wondering IF you wanted to just go see a movie just as friends (3:48:48 PM) Me: but if your still not comfortable with it i tottally understand (3:49:00 PM) Me: and i understand how your feeling... haha believe me (3:49:26 PM) Him: Yeah. Thanks for understanding. I will probably be busy, considering I have a shitload of tests in the coming weeks (3:49:43 PM) Me: but jump's coming out in two weeks! it looks amazing! (3:49:45 PM) Me: =p (3:49:50 PM) Him: I know! (3:49:52 PM) Him: I want to see it (3:50:12 PM) Me: hey, when your not busy with work and studying, let me know i'd like to go see it one of these days (3:50:32 PM) Me: just as friends mmk? (3:50:34 PM) Me: =p (3:51:09 PM) Him: Yeah. If I find myself not busy, or somehow make myself not busy, sure (3:51:39 PM) Me: cool, well i'm going to leave you to your labs and such because i have a bunch of projects i have to finish myself. =]     Somelikeitscott: Gloating isn't pretty but I'll do it anyway - I was right. He's not ready, the word "date" scared him and well, I was right!!!   Here's the deal - this is the neighbor right? He can't risk exposure at this point on any level as he hasn't even dealt with the whole coming out thing fully himself, he's going to most likely distance himself from any other gays until he feels comfortable with him and is ready to tell his parents, etc.   He actually seems very caring and nice. So you're going to have set this one free I'm afraid. Let him make the next move (if there's one to be made).   You seem to find yourself going after guys who aren't ready to come out or don't even know they're gay. Hmmm...seems as though it's time to really put yourself out there with someone who is ready to date another guy. As long as you continue going after semi-unavailables you're setting yourself up for drama, self-doubt and much worse.   Time to get active - hey, it's an election year, get involved with some group on campus that has gay overtones, like the Young Democrats or something - I'm sure there's an HRC (Human Rights Campaign) group there and in a setting like that you're bound to find someone who is all ready okay with themselves and ready to date.   Stop setting yourself up for failure. You're too nice to continually choose the drama path instead of the real deal path.   Study and eat and get rest (your Jewish mother), Scott   (Read the first email advice for the lovelorn below) Comment on this entry at... http://hubpages.com/hub/More-Advice-From-A-Gaytriarch   Dear Some Like It Scott, When you put a website up you imagine that all sorts of people will be reading it (well at least you hope they will) and sure you also hope that someone is going to “discover” you over their morning coffee, sign you to a book deal or television show and the next thing you know you’re an Oprah book of the month club selection. But what has warmed my heart are the people who write in who tell me how much laughter they get from reading the site and some who actually (God help them) write in for my advice.   Such is the case with the recent emails I received from a bi-sexual college boy who is looking for love and direction. As I am the self-proclaimed “gaytriarch” of my family I was only too happy to give some advice (that is once I learned it was just angst and not God forbid suicidal tendencies). And so with his approval (and names changed) here are the emails we exchanged. I thought (and hoped) you might find them interesting.   Funny how so many things change and at the same time how so many stay exactly the same. I do hope he’ll stay in touch with me and let me know how things go and while I’m sure that many may not agree with my advice (feel free to leave your comments) there may be some who feel I’m just what the doctor ordered so please feel free to write in with questions to scott@somelikeitscott.com   Initial Email Hello Scott! I've stumbled upon your video blog and i was very intrigued and before i impose myself on you i would much rather ask if you could give me some advice. Be warned! There possible might be some teen angst or insecurity buried underneath these questions and background details. If you don't have much time on your hands then i am glad you took the time to read the email. continue to video post! I'm enjoying it =p   My First Response Billy, I'm glad that you enjoyed the video blog. I really need to do a new one but I've had a cold and who wants that on video, right?   As far as the advice goes, I'm good at giving it but like most people, not so good at taking it myself. That said, I'm not a doctor nor do I have any sort of medical background to be giving advice so just know that you need to take it with a grain of salt and ultimately decide what's best for you. If you are suicidal or have any thoughts about that you need to contact a local crisis intervention hotline immediately - if it's about whether or not to wear those purple pants you bought, then feel free to email me.   Seriously though, know that I'm not the best at getting back to emails immediately and while I'd like to help and will do my best you may need to consider talking to someone who knows you and/or the people you're seeking advice about - that's the disclaimer so you make the decision, if you want to email, my inbox is open to you.   Have a swell day, -s-   The Details Email Ok so B/G info is that i'm bisexual, and i've come across a boy that i've grown fond of, and he does not know his own sexual orientation, rather he hasn't even thought about it, or if hes lying isn't willing to say anything. He also says hes never been attracted to anyone before. He is socially awkward and is a real nerdy person, but hes the sweetest thing on this earth. I felt like i've found mr. perfect without looking for him because honestly, he isn't the type i'd fall for since hes not super skinny and has a bit of a tummy, hes clumsy but its cute even though he breaks things. hes very mild mannered and home oriented and family oriented. he doesn't get upset or rather doesn't display it outrageously which is why i like him most is that he can control himself and reason things out and accept things. He likes show tunes lol and he also likes weird AL music (that taste in music kind of makes me go wtf) i believe he's grown fond of me as well since he asks to take walks during late hours of school days and during the vacation hes called me almost every night. I've asked him an even more direct question of "Are you straight?" in which he replied "i would believe so." he's always hesitating and half the time i'm not trying to pressure him but he always asks whats on my mind in which i reply i dont want to say anything because it might put pressure on you. I'm always honest with him and i've already confessed my feelings for him. I feel like i've come to the point in my life where i'm done waiting for people, but this guy, hes like a dream with prior experiences with guys/girls incompatible with myself.   Scott, as a angsty teen deeply fallen for a guy who isn't my type, i'm asking you to give me your BEST advice you can give about falling in love. how to deal with it. If i should follow my heart, or do whats best for me in the end.   I've spoken to a friend of mine who knows me well, she says that i'm always impatient. that the current situation, theres nothing wrong with how it is now, and i'm thinking to myself well obviously nothings going on because i want to take it to the next level, and she tells me that i should let time takes its course and stop rushing things.   My other friend, he says i should make a move. whatever happens from there would be my answer, but i can't make a move because i find it disrespectful if he doesn't know. put it lightly, i've had so many chances to just kiss him.   Like i said, i've been tottaly honest with him, confessed my feelings, yet things seem to get better and better and i feel like its tearing me from the inside because i would've thought that expressing how i feel would have make him turn away. or at least not have gotten closer to me.   Like any angsty teen, i've been moping around campus with that fake smile and making friends to make time pass by and having fun. Like everyone in life, everyone is always missing one piece of the puzzle. my piece is longing for someone who i can cherish close to me. everything else will follow, i believe it so. FUNNY THING i left my hometown to go to a college thats far from everyone i know to start new, and not look for relationships. YET i fall in love. and its hard for me to even type the word love, because i've always avoided using it  because of things that has happened. but i think i've finally found someone who i can say it freely without hesitation.   So. should i wait? should i let time pass by? should i try to forget about it? i feel like i should blame my mother because she's always enforcing that i find someone to marry. but meh, i love her regardless.   BTW, you are a great example for younger people like myself to remind us that our parents love us and they're always there for us so we should be there for them.   Thanks in advance =]   The Advice Email Oh Billy, Were that there were some sort of magic pill to take, right? But guess what, there isn't one so until there is...let me try and give you as you put it, my BEST advice.   You're absolutely right to respect "the boy's" boundaries. What you have to understand is that just because you're comfortable with your sexuality, he obviously isn't in the same place as you when it comes to this matter, yes? So how can you expect him to mount the horse (or you) and become your white knight when he's not even sure he likes the job? Does that make sense?   That said I've found in most matters of the heart it's more about you than it is about the other guy.   I know you probably won't be able to do this but take a deep breath and step back for a moment.   Time for some tough love - You talk of him being a "dream" compared to past encounters but come on, isn't it the dream that you're really in love with and perhaps some of that "angsty" label you've put on yourself? More often than not, it's easier to get attracted to someone who doesn't share the attraction for us because it's like putting a picture of Mario Lopez on your wall and telling your friends you know he'd go for you if only he met you. It's fantasy and not reality. And guess what? Love is reality, not a fantasy my friend. It's two people being in the same place at the same time willing to open themselves to the possibilities of being destroyed because they can't wait to be with each other emotionally as well as physically. I'm not saying it's always 50/50 but he's at least got to want some of the same things you want out of the relationship.   If I had to make a "judgment" based solely on the info you've given me, I would say that he values your friendship greatly (thus the calls all vacation and the walks) and maybe even admires you for being able to state your sexual identity when he himself seems to not have one (or at least not ready to share it with you or maybe even himself). In any case, in my experience taking a relationship like the one you have now to the next level is rarely successful (sigh, I know that wasn't what you wanted to read). Oh sure, he may eventually relent and kiss you, etc. but once that happens the entire relationship changes and if he's just experimenting and decides it's not for him, most likely he will have difficulty facing you again and the friendship will be lost. On the other hand, if he decides that he indeed likes boys then you may be the catalyst for starting him off on an adventure but rarely does the "first encounter boy" become the life mate.   Now for the biggest advice I can give you - beware of friends! They will push you to do things that you probably shouldn't do. (Rent a copy of the old Joan Crawford movie, The Women and watch it) By nature, the women in your life will tell you to "wait and see" while the male instinct will always be to get in there for the thrill of the hunt and capture. There's some truth to the old "women are gatherers and men are the hunters" thing. (Thus God created the beloved "fag hags" to balance men who love men with some common sense and sensitivity)   Are you impatient - of course you are because that's where you are in your life - at a time where everything has to happen this moment for you to continue to breathe. That's called passion and don't ever lose that but realize that sometimes it can also just be drama you're creating for yourself which can annoy and bore those around you. Don't be a drama queen, be a passionate proud person.   Next steps - time for you to find someone to date that you can actually date. It doesn't mean you have to lose the nerd with the tummy but at least you'll have Christopher or Christine to talk about during those walks instead of only having one thing to say, which you can't say when "the boy" asks what's on your mind. Trust me when I say it will make you more interesting too because if all I ever got out of you was the, "I don't want to pressure you with my thoughts" line it would get old for me real fast. Glimmer of hope here - who knows, it may even get him to realize that perhaps he does have stronger feelings for you once the pressure is off of him to decide his sexuality and whether he wants to date you all at the speed of light that you're currently going.   Finally, a fairy's tale (my own) - when I met my mate we were doing theatre together. We were friends only as both of us were involved with other people when we first met. We did everything together and became close friends. After six months we discovered that we loved one another and after ending the other relationships we were in, we began our true courtship. It's been over nineteen years and we're still together in a completely monogamous relationship. I really think that we've been together so long because we had that first six months of being friends, sharing our interests and laughs which gave us a great base for a friendship that continues to this day. Oh believe me when I say that the passion is still there too but on a crappy day you need a good friend not a lover and it's good to have that in a mate.   So, if I had to sum up this long email, I would say, don't squander your precious time trying to turn a fantasy into a reality. Find the fantasy and fantastic person in you and then someone who can share your feelings.   I hope this was a help to you. Try this - go somewhere by yourself and listen to your heart (it may take a few hours of silence) your heart will always try to lead you in the right direction. Whether you choose to follow the direction that compass is pointing is another matter. Choose wisely for you.   Thank you for entrusting me with your thoughts.   All My Best, Scott P.S. I would love to put this on my site somewhere if you don't mind - of course I wouldn't use your name or anything. Let me know if you would be okay with me using these emails as a feature on the site at www.somelikeitscott.com    The Final Email I'd gladly allow you to use this, I admire your work a lot therefore i'd be more than thrilled   Thanks for the advice, =]   All i can keep in mind is that, theres a light at the end of every tunnel right? =p   So maybe my advice helped or maybe (if he’s anything like me) he read it and didn’t get the advice he wanted to hear so he’ll continue down the path he’s all ready paving for himself finding his own truths. One thing is for sure, it’s difficult to give advice without becoming invested in the person (how do those therapists do it?). I like the feeling of possibly helping someone else by telling my stories and not just because I like to hear myself talk (though you know that I do) but because somewhere just somewhere in all the mishigas there might actually be some help for someone. And as we see more and more gray in our hair, don’t we owe it to the next group of gays to leave them with something more than talk of drunken nights at Studio 54 or stories of being ostracized? Shouldn’t we tell our stories and try to inspire hope for the next generation of gays? I hope I can do that as there have been so many in my life who inspired me and are still inspiring me to this day! Comment on what you've read at... http://hubpages.com/hub/Dear-SomeLikeItScott---Advice-For-Boys-And-Those-Who-Love-Them A "Billy" Update 1.27.08 An email titled, "Hey, just a bit of an update since you're investing in me" So things have been ok... i've decided to play my cards differently and put myself on the market. ironically though, over my christmas vacation my neighbor had wanted to "Experiment with me and I didn't refuse i just didn't accept. Now i know that at this day and age i'm pretty sexually active, so i've been thinking how guilty i would still feel. Were just friends my neighbor and I and i think it would be a good chance in trying to put myself on the market, not literally of course. As it goes with my feelings with the one i've grown fond of, nothing's changed, we had already decided to room together next year but that had already been decided a while ago. getting an apartment and all actually. Except things have become complicated when we find an apartment he likes ALOT and i'm ok with it, but the only thing is, the apartment is a 4 occupancy apartment and he asked his other two room mates, one likes the idea, the other doesn't like thei deao f rooming with him another year. Now its going to be difficult to diffuse the situation because i don't want to cause any tension between them for the rest of the year, so i think i'm going to try and either talk him into doing it, or work things out with his other roommate since his roommates were planning to room together next year. there isn't much time for the least to be signed so that we can guarentee the apartment, so i'm kind of worried as to how its going to go down. Thanks for reading =] i hate sticky situations =p The Some Like It Scott Response I'm glad that you're trying to "move on" and put yourself on the market - (just be careful about putting yourself on the market at too cheap a cost to others as well as yourself). And as your new Jewish Gaytriarch I must remind you that being sexually active is fine, just be safe, will ya? Look at you being the peace maker and mediator in the whole roommate thing. Good for you! Just remember drama is best left for the stage so the more we can avoid it sucking the life out of us in our supposed real lives the better. Always better and easier to do the right thing and it sounds as if that's exactly what you're doing.   Hang in there, be well and write whenever the mood strikes. Scott The Gay, Gay, Gay, Gayer Than Gay Flight Attendant I know that I myself have been deemed effeminate and I’ve been made fun of most of my life because of it so in general I try to stay away from topics that concern specific people but on a recent Southwest flight I encountered the Gay, Gay, Gayer Than Gay flight attendant and just couldn’t resist writing about him. I knew from the minute he appeared from the door to the walkway to the plane while we were all being herded as cattle into our groups that there was no mistaking this man…for he was the gayest flight attendant I’ve ever encountered. He stood about 5’2” and was in his fifties. (He was the height and sounded like Leslie Jordan – Emmy award winning actor for his role on Will And Grace for his portrayal of the character Beverley Leslie – I saw his one man show in LA…he is an amazing actor) The flight attendant (who we’ll just call Louis) had white hair and glasses with pants that were a little too tight (especially due to the fact that his belly was so large and he was so lively and quick I knew in an instant he could be Mini-me St. Nick). His arms were in the upright Tyrannosaurus Rex position. (I don’t think that they ever left that position to be honest with you) and each finger had a golden ring that made me unsure whether every old aunt of his had left him a piece of jewelry he had admired when they were alive or if he was going for the “most likely to look like Liberace’s hands” award – that no doubt they give out somewhere…they must…right?) I had hoped that Louis was just the gate attendant but as we boarded, so did he and although it was only an hour long trip, knowing all of the Southwest spiels that the flight attendants do (I know these because I travel on this airline a lot and not because my uncle who used to be a rabbi is now a flight attendant for Southwest – long story) that this was going to seem like an eternity. The minute he got on the mic it occurred to me that this was what I had always dreaded my life would become. I would have loved to have been a flight attendant but at certain points in my life I could unfortunately see myself using the cabin of a 727 as my stage with an audience of captive air travelers. Thinking I’m slaying them in the aisles when really all anyone wants are the peanuts and to kill me for making them check their oversized carry-on luggage that wouldn’t have fit down the aisles or in the overhead bin! And so he began introducing the crew and went right into having your “seat backs and tray tables in their upright position.” There are only four “Ss” in those words but it sounded like there were thirty of them the way Louis said them. By the time he got to the announcement that our “seat cushion could be used as a floatation device” everyone started looking around to see if their seat cushion had sprung a leak from the sound of leaking air coming across the microphone from his lisp. God love him, he had so much energy and wanted to please (like a Pekinese that had been left outside for two days until its owner returned) but the more he tried to please, the more energetic he became and the more lispy he became. The good news is that most of the time the passengers from Burbank to Las Vegas are spending the flight seeing how drunk they can get and it’s usually a pretty loud rowdy flight. So I worried that I would have to become Super Gay and defend this guy if the crowd got ugly. But everyone was so well behaved and much to my relief there was not even so much as a snicker as he asked the passengers if they wanted “peanuts” and it sounded like “penis.” I must say I was pretty impressed with the group on the whole for their sense of decorum and respect. As the plane landed he was on the mic again, “Hey ya’ll, welcome to fabulouth Lath Vegath! Ya’ll been tho thweet, I mean it ya’ll. You go out there and just have the beth time ever!” I think everyone was so sweet because he was so sweet, so genuine and you could tell that he loved what he did. There was no “act” here, this was just who he was and he was able to find his niche where he could talk, talk, talk and everyone had to listen. As we all got off the plane he was there in his rubber gloves (to clean the plane after we de-planed) and although they were short, his Tyrannosaurus arms made them seem like opera length gloves or that he was going into surgery at any moment. “Bye, bye…have a great time y’all…” He seemed to customize his farewell line for each passenger. If someone wrote Louis as a character on a sitcom or something the gays would be in an uproar over the fact that we were depicted in this stereotypical fashion but the point of the matter is that there are some gays out there who (for better or worse) are the stereotype and instead of being repulsed by them or trying to act as if they don’t exist, what we need to do is give them the same acceptance we’re all looking for ourselves. Just because you have bulked yourself out and are an underwear model doesn’t make you a “better” gay than someone like Louis. It just makes you a different gay than him or any number of gays. With more gays being “out” I think that sometimes we can all have a pretty narrow view of what we want the gays to look and sound like (and I’m talking about from inside the community as well as out). We want the underwear models, the football and soccer players to come out because just by their appearance and profession they seem to personify that gays aren’t swishy and that’s important to the gay community (whether they admit it or not). It’s like when light skinned black people tried to “pass” for white as their darker skinned peers would call it. For some reason a lot of gays hold the gays that can pass as straight as somehow better and the image they want seen and heard. (And I can only imagine how much self-loathing comes if you don’t meet that criteria yourself.) But I don’t think Louis has any self-loathing, if anything I think he found his place in this world and is making the most of it.  However there’s just no denying he is the gay, gay, gayer than gay flight attendant! Comment on this essay at... http://hubpages.com/hub/The-Gay--Gay--Gayer-Than-Gay-Flight-Attendant Sometimes amazing things happen when you're not even looking for them. I was recently contacted about putting the movie Starrbooty (releasing on DVD October 30, 2007) on my web site. Often I'm contacted about putting a movie or album on my site but this time when I asked for an interview (albeit via email) RuPaul was generous enough to grant it to me. What I discovered was something that I think we've all suspected about RuPaul...he is an intelligent, fascinating creature that dazzles the eye and in this interview stirred my heart. I can't thank him enough for this interview, his kindness and candor. Thanks Ru, Scott  I like to say that I myself am an acquired taste, you know like Tab cola but you seemed to have appealed to the masses right away. (And yes, I’m jealous) Why do you think you were the first ever mainstream drag queen that had the other drag queens delighted as well as the family with 2.5 children living in Iowa? Or was the acceptance not as quick as it looked to those of us on the outside? The fact that I became America's #1 Drag Queen Sweetheart has more to do with timing than my unique ability to convert Betty and Joe Beercan. The window that allowed me to step into the consciousness of the American family was open for a relatively short amount of time. That window closed after a few short years. The whole issue relates to our culture's primitive views toward gender. Doing drag in a patriarchal society is akin to an act of treason.  With all the celebrity bashing from tmz.com to mainstream television, you never hear a bad word about you. How have you managed to escape all of this? The mainstream press is not interested in the personal life of an out gay man. They're interested in the parts of my personal life that would support their condemnation of my lifestyle but nothing else. You never hear about the personal life of out gay men because it would force the public to see them as human beings instead of hired help whose sole purpose, in their opinion, is to coif and style straight people. If you saw me as a human being, you would then have to love me. That would force you to deconstruct your belief system which is flimsy at best and nobody wants to hold their belief system up to the light of day. Reality television seems to be a genre that just won’t go away, any thoughts on a reality show you’d like to do, what would it be called? And would there be makeup and hair challenges? You know, Project RuPaul or something? Well it's all been soooo done before. The only unique thing I could bring to that genre is my personality. Now onto some questions about your film, Starrbooty which is about to be released on DVD… (at your favorite retailer on October 30, 2007) The film has lots of action in it and looks a lot like a film I read in one of your previous interviews was one of your favorite films, Cleopatra Jones. Intentional? Absolutely. After I saw Cleopatra Jones the first time, I wrote it's star the first and only fan letter I've ever written in my entire life. Due to the fight scenes, approximately how many nails were broken for this film? It seems we were gluing my acrylic dragon nails on every 5 minutes and not just for the fight scenes. I know I should be asking if you did your own stunts but what people really want to know is if you did your own hair and makeup? The term shoe-string budget sounds generous when describing our film. Yes, I did my own hair and make-up.   And now some burning questions for the Some Like It Scott website subscribers… Weave or Lace-front wig, what should the best-dressed drag queens be wearing this season? Always a lace-front wig, even if she has a full head of hair. With so many celebrities being caught without panties, everyone wants to know if you’ve ever gone out without them? They don't call me Tuck Everlasting for nothing. Why haven’t you brought your act to Vegas? Celine Dion is leaving and Joey Arias has been doing Zumanity forever now, when are we going to see the RuPaul Show hit Vegas? Extended runs make me stir crazy. I read in a Liz Smith interview with you that you wanted to do a remake of Auntie Mame (one of my favorite top three films ever) but maybe call it Uncle Ru and develop it for television. I think that would be brilliant but besides Auntie Mame, is there any other classic Hollywood movie you’d like to re-make and what role would you play in it? I'd love to do My Fair Lady and call is My Fair Lady Boy set in the Thailand, of course.  So, the given is that you are an icon and now that you are a recording artist, author, television and radio personality, film star as well as an actual doll what could possibly be next for you to conquer? I want a child. (That's a joke; I hate children.) RuPaul and hunky Starrbooty director Mike Ruiz Click below to watch the Starrbooty movie trailer Click the pic below to watch the Starrbooty music video Click below to watch webisode one from the making of Starrbooty - see more webisodes by clicking on the Starrbooty logo to the right to be transported to the Starrbooty official site!   Leave it to the LA Gays, right? Some of my fave LA Gays are throwing their annual Halloween party (in Palm Springs, of course) and I just thought the idea was fabulous and had to share the ingenious invite! So if you're still looking for a theme for your party, look no further. Unfortunately, I won't be able to attend...and not just because I couldn't find someone to play Joanie to my Chachi! A Fairy's Tales by Scott Once upon a time... On Being A Gay Son... I'm the one looking into the camera...of course! and letting your parents love you. I know that a lot of gay men have strained or even non-existent relationships with their fathers. I am not one of those gay men. I have very dear friends who have told me horror stories about their childhood or coming out and/or life after coming out with their fathers. I sympathize with them. I just know that I’m so thankful to have never gone a day without knowing my pare