I’m not sure if it’s because I’m a Jew, gay or just someone who wants everyone to not just “like” me but adore me but as I’ve said numerous times, “No one apologizes as good as me.” If they gave out Olympics medals, I’d make Phelps and the rest of those athletes look like amateurs. I too have honed my craft after years and years of spending a lot of time in my head (instead of the pool or gym, obviously) working on how best to apologize, getting my timing just right and ultimately getting the desired result of people not only accepting my apology but sometimes, the apology is so good, they actually apologize to ME when alls said and done. So when it comes to apologies, I know my way around them better than anyone.
That said, we as a society need to stop with some of the apologies. I reached my breaking point recently when I saw that Cinnabon had to apologize for the above tweet. Seriously? Are we all that serious that a) we don’t think it’s funny and b) we can’t commend the millennial who came up with the idea to pay homage to Carrie Fisher AND market their delicious cinnamon buns at the same time? Should we start a boycott? Should we blame Cinnabon or go directly to the source and blame the spice, cinnamon that starts the whole process of a delicious Cinnabon? How far back should we go? When is enough, enough?!?
And while we’re on the subject, people need to lay off Steve Martin for tweeting (and then deleting) that when he first met Carrie Fisher he thought, “When I was a young man, Carrie Fisher she was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. She turned out to be witty and bright as well.” He was not demeaning her nor trying to say that was all that she was was a piece of ass, he’s just saying when he was a young man he found her hot. Do you know how much I’d pay to have someone write that about me? But what happens? The “world” gets offended and he has to take it down and do you know who loses? All of us, we lost our God Damned sense of humor somewhere people and no longer know what’s offensive and what’s funny!
So here’s the leap. What is NOT funny is all the tweeting and talking by our soon to be Asshat in Chief; talking about grabbing women by the pussy, and all the other shenanigans that he’s saying and tweeting and actually believing as well as his supporters that are goose stepping along with him. I think this is where the “right” have us “lefties” beat. We work ourselves up so much about “inappropriate” Cinnabon tweets about someone who is dead when the Fuckface elect is going on a blue streak about how he was offended by Saturday Night Live, knows more about the Russian hacks than our national security agencies and thinks one of the world’s enemies, Putin is “very smart.” (Putin is smart, he helped Trump get elected and he got exactly what he wanted for Christmas while we all got a lump of orange coal in our stocking.) Wake up, people, this isn’t someone just refreshingly speaking his mind (or marketing delicious cinnamon buns) these are things you would normally hear someone through a pointy hood talk about, not the soon to be leader of the free world. And guess what, my Democrat friends? Cinnabon is not going to take away health insurance for most of a nation that is sick from the crap our government has allowed manufacturers in the US and beyond to put in our foods to make us dependent on the pharmaceutical industry or start a nuclear war because he has no sense of accountability for his actions or take away the strides we’ve made for equal rights in this country. No, it’s the all right, all white government we “lefties” have allowed to get into power while we were busy being “offended” by tweets and trying to pander to people who were already voting for Hillary with a Will and Grace reunion instead of realizing there were a lot of people in this country who don’t think like us, are angry, want change and vote. Democrat leaders, where’s YOUR apology? I caucused, I bought the Hillary action figure and all I got was an out of touch party leadership that was too confident to realize we were getting bit in the ass (and while as a gay man or anyone who enjoys the occasional solicited bite in the ass, this is not what I’m talking about here.)
All this to say, there are times for apologies and there are times when we as gay men and the women and men who love them need to take a breath and say, “Does this really require an apology?” Let me help you, @cinnabon and @stevemartintogo I’m want to apologize to you for anyone who pressured you into an apology. Meanwhile, @thedemocrats you owe us all an apology and need to get your ass in gear to protect us from this mess you helped make for the next four years. (See how good I am at apologies?)