Once Upon A Time... (See the first 10 episodes below...) Episode 1 All About Scott Comment on this VBlog here... http://hubpages.com/hub/Forty-Something_Gay_-_Episode_One_-_All_About_Scott Click below to read the "Don't Get Me Started" blogs mentioned in this episode Forty-Something Gay Pride (Part One) Forty-Something Gay Pride (Part Two) The DMV Is Convinced I'm A Woman I Am Not A Woman, Hear Me Roar Episode 2 "Gay Thin" or "Gay Gargantuan?" Comment on this VBlog here... http://hubpages.com/hub/Forty-Something_Gay_-_Episode_2_-_Gay_Thin_or_Gay_Gargantuan Click below to read the "Don't Get Me Started" blogs mentioned in this episode My 12 Hours On The Beyonce Lemonade Diet The G-A-A-A-Y Triple Threat Episode 3 Why I Broke Up With My Dry Cleaner! Comment on this VBlog here... http://hubpages.com/hub/Why_I_Broke_Up_With_My_Dry_Cleaner Okay, so another long entry (this one is six minutes) but I couldn't condense the story anymore than I did. Next one will be shorter, I promise! Episode 4 Like It Or Not Advocate Magazine, You're 40 Too! Comment on this VBlog here... http://hubpages.com/hub/Forty-Something_Gay_-_Episode_4_-_The_Advocate_Magazine_Is_40_Too Click below to read the "Don't Get Me Started" blogs mentioned in this episode Once again The Advocate Magazine is no advocate for me! Episode 5 I Know Why People Pay For Sex! Comment on this VBlog here... http://hubpages.com/hub/Forty-Something_Gay_-_Episode_5_-_I_Know_Why_People_Pay_For_Sex Episode 5 – I Know Why People Pay For Sex! I don’t know if you’ve ever had a massage but I have and I’ll tell you few things in life are all about you like a massage and once you’ve had a good one, you suddenly begin to understand why people pay for sex! Episode 6 Chris Crocker and the new VoGayBulary! Comment on this VBlog here... http://hubpages.com/hub/Chris-Crocker-And-The-New-VoGayBulary Episode 6 – Chris Crocker and The New Vogaybulary! For those of us who watched the latest YouTube video gone wild of Chris Crocker defending Britney Spears we have to wonder if the rest of us just aren’t gay enough to get 8 million hits and a production deal. So maybe some vogabulary will help all of us out. Episode 7 The Barber Cut My Hair Like Frankenstein! Comment on this VBlog here... http://hubpages.com/hub/Forty-Something-Gay---The-Barber-Cut-My-Hair-Like-Frankenstein Episode 7 – The Barber Cut My Hair Like Frankenstein! I like the way the hairstylist cuts my hair but I can never duplicate it and now I’m starting to wonder whether I should even try. Episode 8 Am I A Queen? Comment on this VBlog here... http://hubpages.com/hub/Forty-Something-Gay---Am-I-A-Queen Read The Blogs talked about in this Vblog... The DMV Is Convinced I'm A Woman - Don't Get Me Started! The Driver's License and I'm Not Woman Hear Me Roar! Episode 8 – Am I A Queen? Look, no one likes getting a negative review (even if it’s from someone that you don’t know) so when a recent comment left on the Vblog accused me of being a queen, I decided to mentally wrestle with this question. Am I a queen? Episode 9 Dinner With The Folks Comment on this VBlog here... http://hubpages.com/hub/Forty-Something-Gay---Dinner-With-The-Folks Episode 8 – Dinner With The Folks! I don’t know how often you have dinner with your parents but being a good Jewish son I have dinner with the folks every Sunday. And it’s always hysterical. Episode 10 Why We Need A Mega-Male Gay Hollywood Power Couple! Comment on this VBlog here... http://hubpages.com/hub/Forty-Something-Gay---Why-We-Need-A-Mega-Male-Gay-Hollywood-Power-Couple Episode 10 – Why We Need A Mega-Male Gay Hollywood Power Couple! The time has come, enough with just outing celebrities it’s time we get a male on male couple that American can adore like Brad and Angelina. Get All The Dating Help You Need... The Dating Guide Are Forty-Something Gays Fated To Mated (as the old Cole Porter song says)? Eyes are the window to the soul (or so they say) and on a recent trip to Seattle, I saw into some souls that started me wondering. After forty, do gay men have more desperation in their eyes than desire? Take that look off your face. I’m not saying that men over forty are no longer on the prowl or that they don’t posses the ability for the come hither stare. I’m talking about something different. As I maneuvered through the big city living I once did every day (but haven’t done in years), going into little cafes for lunch or stores to shop I would see men either by themselves or with a companion (usually female) and as our eyes met, instead of a look of hubba hubba, I could swear I saw something else; a look that said, “Are you him?” “Could you be the man I can settle down with and look like the Jeep ads from the late nineties?” “How fast can we go from first date to life mate?” I’m a person who takes eye contact very seriously. I think it creates trust and shows that you’re really there when someone is talking with you. I’m also a true Scorpio in that when I’m done with someone I make no eye contact whatsoever. I’m not sure if it’s the feeling that the person no longer should be allowed access to my soul (through my eyes) or that I’m so disgusted that I can just no longer look at you. Whatever the reason I think people who don’t make eye contact tell you quite a bit about themselves and their own insecurities.   The first guy I encountered in Seattle was at a little lunch bistro. There he was, sitting at a table with a woman and as she was talking, his focus shifted from her to me. He looked to be in his late thirties (no doubt thanks to the many great skin products out there) but I’ve a feeling he was indeed in his forties. Now anyone who knows anything about the world at large knows that there’s the three-second eye contact rule. If you make eye contact with someone and neither of you break it within three seconds (and yes, we’re talking the old, “one Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi” here) then you’re intrigued by one another. By five seconds you could end up in bed with the person later that day or night (whichever the case may be). But at eight seconds if it’s still eye contact and no talking to one another it all turns ugly and you most likely have a stalker on your hands (or someone who never gave up in staring contests in the sixth grade). Well, with this guy, our eyes met and there were no sparks but there were at least three seconds easy and I could swear that instead of looking for sex he had a look in his eyes that I can only name as desperation. And not in a sad, hasn’t had a date in three years or something desperation, I’m talking about a “by tomorrow could I be sitting with you at this table eating and having everyone look at us as the greatest gay couple since Tab Hunter and Tony Perkins?” And although I possess no psychic abilities whatsoever, I know I was right. This guy wanted to skip all the first date stuff and go right to a joint checking account and lamenting over the gay adoption process. Throughout my time in Seattle I encountered several of these guys (though I’m convinced that they are everywhere) and it really made me begin to wonder about where we are as a gay society and if the pressure that women over thirty felt at one time (and maybe still do) to be coupled isn’t permeating the gay culture now too? I have friends who are not in a relationship over forty and they are more than fine with it but I have others who cringe when the topic comes up and once again, you can see in their eyes they’re longing for a Sunday cuddled up with a mate on west elm furniture and their retriever at their feet. You see, I think that for most of us, we were (as Cole Porter put it) “fated to be mated” and when you reach a certain age, if you’re not looking for a boy toy (or looking to still try to be a boy toy) your options seem to become more limited. There aren’t too many people I know that don’t want companionship or someone in their life. Friends are great but as they used to say, “They don’t keep your feet warm at night.” So when you look at it in these terms, I think I was right. I think that what I saw in these men’s eyes was a form of desperation. Or maybe that’s the wrong word. Maybe what I saw was longing, longing to connect with someone, to be with someone and have someone with them. And as a fellow forty-something gay man, I’m longing for them to get exactly what they want. My grandmother used to say, “There’s a lid for every pot.” Here’s hoping that’s true. Comment on this essay at... http://hubpages.com/hub/Do-Forty-Something-Gays-Feel-The-Pressure-To-Be-Mated   Be The First To Know... Sign up below and get your notice each week on the prior week's "Don't Get Me Started!" blogs and the latest Vblog with links directly to the blogs you want to see and read. You'll get a weekly update and be the first to know! Sign Up For Some Like It Scott Updates and More! 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