Who Creates Corporate Buzzwords? Itís Certainly Not In My Wheelhouse!
Who Creates Corporate Buzzwords? It’s Certainly Not In My
Wheelhouse! – Don’t Get Me Started!
It never ceases to amaze me how people can take a bunch of words that you know (or sort of know)
and turn them into some magical word or phrase that within minutes everyone seems to be using. This is especially true in
the corporate world. Now I’m not talking about “going postal” or taking a noun and making it a verb, I’m
talking about the mystical magical corporate buzzwords that as clever as they may seem to an outsider are really just a way
of saying nothing at all. Who creates corporate buzzwords? It’s certainly not in my wheelhouse! – Don’t
Get Me Started!
remember years ago, everyone in the corporate culture wanted to take everything “offline.” In a big meeting with
a bunch of people when confronted with actually having to “show your work” or knowledge of something and have
no idea, just say loudly in front of everyone, “I think that’s a discussion we should take offline. Have your
assistant set up a meeting for us, will ya?” This serves its purpose on many levels. It’s sort of a corporate
“get out of jail free” card for the moment and in one swoop you’ve made the other executive look subservient
by having their assistant set up the meeting instead of yours. What you have to do after an encounter like this is either
get your shit together so that you’re ready for the meeting or keep avoiding the “offline” conversation
by being so busy “online” with other meetings and talking to other people that you can basically forget about
the topic being brought up until the next big meeting at which point you’ll have to look for another buzzword that is
more current to get you out of talking about it again. Exhausting, right? And people wonder why there aren’t more successful
companies in the United States.
The corporate buzzword of the moment seems to be, “wheelhouse.” Now again, I have no idea how
it got started, what it really says and so like most people working in the corporate culture, you have to sort of listen to
the context clues of the other words in the sentence to make sense of it. The way that I’ve heard it used is like, “We
should give that to Tom, it’s in his wheelhouse.” So I think it means an area of expertise or at the very least,
the guy that you’re going to shove the work off on. But to me, the whole wheelhouse thing sounds like something that
would be in an Amish village or something. I mean, they drive buggies to and fro so wouldn’t it make sense that someone
has to make, maintain and put the wheels on the buggies? And wouldn’t they do it in a wheelhouse? When I looked it up
online it says something about it being the shelter for the person driving the boat. Hmmm, so it still doesn’t make
sense to me that they’d be using it as a corporate buzzword. Maybe because the wheelhouse only shelters the captain
and it’s the one guy that they’re going to shove the work off on?
Growing up my parents didn’t spend a lot of time washing
our mouths out with soap for saying so-called, “bad” words. To my parents it was more important that we express
ourselves, that we be heard. They wanted us to choose our words carefully but if an occasional swear word slipped out, it
wasn’t the end of the world and no beatings ensued. I love a good “curse word.” I love how it feels in my
mouth, the reaction that it gets and so I am not afraid to let one fly. But at least with curse words, people know what in
the hell you’re talking about. These buzzwords always leave you wondering what the person is saying and what you’ve
just committed yourself to. So whoever it is that creates the corporate buzzwords, please stop. And you people who call yourselves
executives, just say what you mean and you’ll get a lot more respect than if you stay in your wheelhouse. (Was that
the right way to use that? Who the hell knows, geez!) Who creates corporate buzzwords? It’s certainly not in my wheelhouse!
– Don’t Get Me Started!
Some People Are Lactose Intolerant; Iím Lazy Ass Loser Intolerant!
Some People Are Lactose Intolerant; I’m Lazy Ass Loser Intolerant!
– Don’t Get Me Started!
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, if you really want good guest service you need a gay.
Not a gay who is sucking in their cheeks thinking they’re better than the people they’re waiting on (are you listening
Neiman Marcus gays) but a gay who enjoys waiting on people and who is usually very good at their job. But recently it’s
not only the people giving service but the people receiving service that have taken my blood pressure and caused it to get
so high that I’m sure there are vampires getting very turned on at the moment with my blood at such a boiling point!
Some people are lactose intolerant; I’m lazy ass loser intolerant! – Don’t Get Me Started!
You’re right, I write a lot
about Starbucks. It could be because I’m there every morning. They know me and I know them now. Most of them know what
my drink is how to make it and all goes just fine. But recently as I’ve been waiting for my drink (which involves no
added fixing or mixing at the guest bar area) I’ve noticed that apparently complete slobs frequent my particular Starbucks.
Now I’ve always been known to throw a used sugar packet away that was left behind or even take a napkin and wipe up
the spilled remnants of half and half that made it half in the cup and half out but lately it just seems as though I’m
Florida (Esther Rolle) who started off as Maude’s maid and then got her own sitcom spin off, Good Times! Really people?
Are you that lazy? Are you so important and in such a hurry that you can’t clean up after yourself? And what, dear God,
must your homes look like? Frankly I don’t even want to imagine.
I guess the thing that gets me is the whole seeming lack of understanding that
there are other people in the world. Call me old fashioned but it just seems disrespectful or rude to others when you wander
through life as if you’re the only one that matters or that your mother (who obviously had no idea how to raise children)
is going to go through life and clean up after you. She’s not. She didn’t teach you how to do it and the rest
of us are now forced to deal with you and your lack of manners. My question is who the hell would want to be with you?
Are people so desperate that they’re willing to be in relationships with complete slobs and lazy ass losers just to
be in a relationship? (Don’t answer that, I’ve seen Jerry Springer.)
If I’m paying for a service, I demand service. If I make
a mess (whether it’s physical or emotional) I clean it up and I expect others to do the same. I know what you’re
saying, “Your standards are too high, come on down to the slack jawed lazy loser level, you’ll love it.”
I won’t love it. I don’t love it. I can’t stand people that shuffle along and can’t be bothered to
pick up their feet and walk with purpose so I’m certainly not going to stand by silently as someone throws an entire
Big Gulp out of their car window and hauls ass out of a parking lot expecting someone else to clean it up and think it’s
just fine behavior.
don’t care how much money you make or who you think you are, I’m just here to tell you that everyone deserves
(to quote Lily Tomlin from Nine To Five), “A little dignity and a little respect.” So while you may think that
it’s okay to litter or talk on your cell phone instead of wait on me even though I’m at the counter glaring an
imaginary hole through your skull (which is obviously mostly vacant) allow me to enlighten you. Wake the fuck up! The world
may not suddenly change for the better because you pick up after yourself or are nice to your waiter but it sure has a better
chance of changing for the better if you show some human kindness. So walk with purpose, clean up after yourself and for God
sake, remember that having a little dignity and class never hurt anyone! Some people are lactose intolerant; I’m lazy
ass loser intolerant! – Don’t Get Me Started!
How I Discovered My Facebook ďFriendsĒ Were Religious And Political Wackos!
How I Discovered My Facebook “Friends”
Were Religious And Political Wackos! – Don’t Get Me Started!
I have never been one of those people who think everyone needs to believe what I believe (okay, so
secretly I’ve just always kept the fact that I knew I was right and whoever disagreed with me or had a different opinion
than me was wrong but I kept it to myself as one would do who has proper breeding). But with elections coming closer and closer
and all the people who don’t seem to understand the phrase “separation of church and state” there seems
to be more and more posted about both on the Facebook walls of people I’m “friends” with on Facebook. How
I discovered my Facebook “friends” were religious and political wackos! – Don’t Get Me Started!
I’ve noticed a posting here or there that made me raise my one perfectly gay attitudinal eyebrow from time to time but
recently I’m starting to see more and more from certain people and I’m thinking there are several who are about
to be “unfriended” late at night or perhaps even in the light of day, very soon. Let’s
face it, a lot of the people who are on my friend list are people I haven’t seen since the fourth grade or something
so other than watching Elmer’s glue dry on our hands and pulling it off acting as if it were our skin, what do I really
have in common with these people? You’re right, absolutely nothing. But when you see that name and face from your past
asking to be your friend and picture them in their cute pigtails you think, “Hmmm, how nice, I guess I will friend them.”
Then you start seeing the postings with bible verses and you think to yourself, “Hmmm, she’s religious. Well,
I hope that she finds great comfort in her religion and is happy.” Then you start seeing the anti-abortion posts with
photos normally used by groups to show the horrors of abortion and you think, “Okay, I think I know where this is headed.”
And then the collection is completed by the post that shows the yahoo sheriff in your old home town who came to national attention
for putting pink boxers on the inmates and who is now claiming that he has investigated and found out exactly where the “lies”
and forgeries are on President Obama’s birth certificate. Really?? After all of this time and almost four years of the
guy running our country and living in the White House this is all you can come up with? And as an elected official, shouldn’t
you be spending your time doing your job instead of doing these types of investigations? Or are you doing it in your spare
time like a hobby in between your Civil War reenactments and burning crosses in people’s lawns?
believe whatever you want to believe and I’ll admit that I’ve been guilty of posting articles that relate to gay
rights or Elaine Paige being a fabulous performer. But just know that I really don’t care to log on to Facebook to see
rants about how if we all get the “right kind” of religion we’ll be saved or that Obama is somehow a robot
sent from the Middle East to destroy our world as we know it. (We’re all doing a mighty fine job of destroying things
ourselves with our greed and allowing every country in the world to make products for us instead of us making anything here
in the US anymore. It seems our gross national product is simply attitude and frankly to me, that’s just gross.)
So post what you want to post, it’s a free country but unlike the baseball diamond in Field of Dreams, if you
post it, it doesn’t mean I’ll come or read it. It may just mean you’re being unfriended. But no worries,
it’ll be easier for me to keep good thoughts of you, remembering our Elmer’s glue days and not the days you posted
bizarre religious and political crap on Facebook. How I discovered my Facebook “friends” were religious and political
wackos! – Don’t Get Me Started!
ago when I was at dinner with a producer from a dinner theater where I worked for eleven years. (It's what I refer to
as My Dazzling Dinner Theater Days)
I was riled up about something and this producer
said, "You should have a radio show where people call and get you fired up and you just go off." As I had a reputation
for going on a tirade the likes of Dixie Carter on Designing Women (remember this was years ago) and as I was constantly starting
my sentences with the phrase above; when I started blogging I decided that this might be a way to get my rants out to the
public at large.
I hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoy writing
Since the site began in August of 2006, people have been writing in (okay, mostly my Mother) telling me that
I needed to do a video blog (or “vblog”) like Rosie and everyone else in the world. Writing the “Don’t
Get Me Started” blog five times a week is daunting enough without adding video production on top of it. Plus, what would
be different about the video blog from the written blog? After the huge response from my blog about being a Forty-Something
Gay during Pride week, it hit me that my video blog would feature topics for us garden variety Forty-Something Gays! I hope
you enjoy them as well as the rest of the Some Like It Scott site!
Some Music While You Read?
At the request of Some Like It Scott reader you can now read
or listen or read AND listen when on the "Don't Get Me Started" page. Click below to turn the music on and
scroll to the bottom to find out what you're listening to!
That's right, Don't Get Me Started! I have no
idea what I was thinking. Well, not true, I thought it looked fabulous. The hair was sufficiently “palmed” out
to give it height and that’s not a shadow you see behind my head, it’s the true bi-level cut of the 80’s
going on, not a mullet, my friends, an honest to goodness Duran Duran inspired bi-level! I had purchased this Gulden's
mustard colored all silk suit at Bloomingdale's with the collarless purple silk shirt and just knew I looked fabulous.
(What a difference a decade or so makes, huh?)
Anyway, I was simply overwhelmed by how many people wrote in telling
me about their hair and fashion disasters, everything from a "Super Freak" outfit to get into a Rick James concert
to a swell guy who wrote about his perm that gave him that “greatest star” Streisand “Star Is Born”
look, or so he thought until he reflected back on it “with one more look at you.”
What's your fashion disaster that was caught on film?