So Long Some Like It Scott…For Now! – Don’t Get Me Started!

The Some Like It Scott website and Don’t Get Me Started blog began in August 2006. I had won an opportunity to be the official blogger for Project Runway’s season 3 on the official website at bravotv.com giving my sassy commentary after each week’s episodes. I received hundreds of comments (good and bad) each week and it even got me an interview at the Style network (turns out that they only wanted to gossip about the show and see if I knew who was going to win that year). The editor I worked with at Bravo offered me an opportunity to have my personal blog and website listed on their sister site because he was sure that I had one and that it was hilarious. I didn’t have a blog or a website but I knew I had hilarious covered. Scrambling and having no experience at all I decided I needed to create a website. I signed up with one of those host your domain, customize the templates and create your own website sites. I did not surface for 72 hours. Again and again I would tweak the look of the top border or the picture on this page or that page. I didn’t have any idea what I was doing but I was convinced that I had to learn enough so as to not make it look some cookie cutter website. As anyone who has ever designed a website will tell you, you’re never “finished” with it, it’s constantly evolving and you’re daily making tweaks to something on it.

In my last blog for Project Runway I was able to mention my site. This brought the first people to my site and in 2006 I was voted as one of the Top Ten Readers’ blogs by The Advocate magazine. Next I was contacted by Paramount Studios to premier the One Night Only video from the movie Dreamgirls on my site before the film was released. The partner of the film’s director had seen my blog in The Advocate and told the film’s Marketing department about me. There was a promise of an interview with the director (which never happened) and I was sent a case of paperback novelizations of the movie and three posters signed by Jennifer Hudson. Next it was email interviews with RuPaul and many up and coming musical artists which I was sure was going to make me the next Mary Hart (except more Jewish looking and not so annoying). I really thought I was moments away from getting the “big call.” You know the one where they want me to start writing for E! or some other network. When everyone in the blogging world went to video blogs, I went too. This I was sure was going to catch Rosie O’Donnell’s eye or at the very least I would go viral on YouTube (the kind of viral where you don’t need an antibiotic). I toiled, I made sure that I was doing reciprocal links from my site to other sites, I was getting my site on blog rolls, and I was sending emails and commenting on news stories with links to my site. All the while working full time and updating the site with a new blog at least five times a week.

This August will be four years of working on the site and unfortunately, I don’t know where blogging is headed next but I think it will need to continue on without me, at least when it comes to daily blogging. I have loved ranting and raving, having people tell me I’m going to hell or that I’ve touched on something that they can relate to, comments good and bad are great to get because as I’ve always said, blogging is a strange experience as unless someone comments you don’t who has read your blog or if they liked it or not. (Basically I could be practicing blogging masturbation where I’m the only one getting anything out of it.) There are more than 900 blog entries, essays and interviews on the site and I’m very proud of all of them. Writing every day has made me a better writer and now it’s time to see if I can’t take the energy I’ve put into this blog and create something more lasting or on the cutting edge of what writing will become. I have several ideas from books to e-books to plays to screenplays. I’m not sure where I’ll head next but I hope that those of you who have followed my blog will come along on the journey with me when the time comes.

The Some Like It Scott website will stay up so if you’ve found me on hubpages or one of the other sites where my blogs are listed and never visited the actual website, here’s your chance. All of the blogs are there so if you’re one of my morning coffee with Some Like It Scott pals, I would suggest you start at the beginning in August 2006 and read a blog a day to wean yourself off of the daily routine. Sure some are about what was going on at the time and may be out of date but for the most part they’re just my take on life.

I want to finish by saying that I appreciate all of the people who have written in to me over the years and I hope you’ll stay in touch. Thank you so much for reading, laughing and crying with me over life and the world around us. As my Mother always says to me, “Keep a sense of humor, it’s critical.”

Again, thank you!

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Once We Gays Get Marriage Rights We’re Going To Need To Redecorate Them (Per Usual) – Don’t Get Me Started!

At this point I can honestly say with the judgment against Proposition 8 and just the way things seem to be going, I no longer feel as though gay marriage rights will be an “if” but rather a “when” – “when we get marriage rights” can now emanate from my lips without me feeling as though I’m lying. Having said that, the more I read about gay marriages, the people having them (including one in my own family) the more I think that once we gays get marriage rights we’re going to need to redecorate them (per usual) – Don’t Get Me Started!

I get why some of us gays are attracted to the wedding as a traditional ceremony complete with fourteen bridesmaids and ushers, because that’s what we’ve seen our entire lives. To you gays who want this, complete with matching tuxedoes, or dresses or puka beads on a beach, I say have at it. But what I never hear anyone talking about is the fact that this “traditional” ceremony may not be right for all of us. For me personally (who is not getting married anytime soon) I find the whole traditional ceremony not for me. So does that make me a traitor to my fellow gays? Absolutely not.

I just feel as though we gays can do better by ourselves by creating our own type of ceremony and way of joining together rather than trying to copy what straights have done for years like some sort of bad Elvis impersonation. Why should we try to put our fabulously well toned peg into a hole that doesn’t fit? (Well, I know some of you boys like to try anything once so I’ll leave it for you to figure out in the alley behind the 7/11 where you met your partner of thirty minutes by the Slurpee machine. And they say romance is dead). What I mean is that we need to go to some sort of “Dare to be different” seminar and figure out exactly how to give the whole gay marriage thing a redecoration that doesn’t just look as if we bought cheap slipcovers for the sofa and a new coffee table book. No, we need to move that furniture out all together and bring in some grand new stuff.

While we’re thinking (let’s face it, while “I’M” thinking) of changing the wedding ceremony for gays I begin to wonder if an idea I had a while ago hasn’t now seen it’s time to arrive on the scene. I think we need a gay religion. There, I’ve said it (again). I’m not sure exactly what we would worship but I know that we would all look great and we’d be tax deductible. If I have to go ahead and be the “Designer” (instead of pastor or priest) of this movement, if I get the calling from my Prada shoes telling me I need to step up and create this religion, so be it. That’s right, we don’t really know how religion started and we sure as hell have no idea how Joseph Smith made up his wacky story that millions of Mormons believe now or how a bestselling author like L. Ron Hubbard managed to take people from Dianetics to what eventually became Scientology, the religion of Scelebrities. So why not a gay religion? Maybe God is speaking to me because I’m Jewish and he knows he can trust me like he trusted Moses. Maybe Gayliness is next to Godliness after all. Maybe, just maybe, I can bring my message to my people without persecution and as much eyeliner as most evangelicals. The one thing I know is that there will be less screaming at the congregation and more singing showtunes to them. The only problem I see right away is that if we ever do any call and response with the congregation (or “ensemble” as they’ll be called) I’m afraid the fire department will be called out time and time again because our sibilant “S’s” will have everyone believing there’s a gas leak in the building. No matter, when the firemen arrive they can do some dancing to a Village People song to bring the crowd to their feet and send them off for a great week. The fireman going a little gay for pay and helping gather donations in their hats, boots and whatever else they have that you can stuff crumpled singles into. Sound too stereotypical? Look at the Catholics, Jews, Mormons and more and tell me what they do for their service isn’t horribly stereotypical? You have to give people a little of what they know before you can get them getting used to new ideas.

New ideas, that’s what we need for the future of our country and the world. We can’t stand by and allow ourselves to join into a world all ready spinning and just go with the flow. No, sometimes we have to stop spinning (to check out the ass of the guy next to us in class) to discover our own sense of calm, self and direction. We have to boldly go where no gays have gone before. We have to make things that actually fit us and are more couture as opposed to buying off the rack. That goes for religion, gay weddings and more. So if you’re thinking of a gay wedding, re-think the white wedding and go for something in a color that doesn’t make the bride/groom/whatever look so fat. Instead of cake, serve mousse (cause it has so many “S’s” in it it’ll be fun to hear your guests say) and finally instead of “I do” say, “Hold my hand and we’re half way there, hold my hand I’ll take you there.” Once we gays get marriage rights we’re going to need to redecorate them (per usual) – Don’t Get Me Started!

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I’m Not  As Worried About The Illegal Immigrants As Much As I’m Worried About The White Trash Americans – Don’t Get Me Started!

You know who they are, they are the ones with the beat up cars with no license plate or probably insurance, smoking cigarettes in the face of their fourteen children of different ages (each fathered by a different father), leaving their Big Gulp in a parking space for you to run over, only to discover that it’s filled with cigarette butts from what would seem like a month but are really from three days in the back of their Ford Escort. They end their poor sentences (when they make complete ones) with prepositional phrases at the end, “I seen him yesterday at that place where you’re at.” Ugh, it sends a shudder down my spine. And in all their unkempt appearance and supposedly lack of funds they seem to manage to have their hair dyed and be on a cell phone. So when it comes to worrying about people who are sucking the system and my patience dry, I’ve found it’s much more about the white trash than it is the illegal immigrants. I’m not as worried about the illegal immigrants as much as I’m worried about the white trash Americans – Don’t Get Me Started!

I can feel you getting uncomfortable all ready. And guess what, I like it. That’s right, we need to realize that all these well to do white “Christian” people who want to get rid of anyone of color in this nation who have deluded themselves into believing that they built this country with their lily white hands need to start to turn the mirror onto their own race for a change. Between the lack of funding for schools and the popularity of American Idol becoming a “career choice,” all of us Americans are getting a little dumber each day and the really bad part is that we’re passing it down to our children. My parents wanted me to be a doctor or lawyer (come on, we’re Jews after all) but what aspirations do the white trash have for their kids? Sure some may put them in “beauty pageants” but that’ll only take them until twenty when I guess they expect them to marry or just have at least six kids by then. Can someone with no education and less drive and determination that a common garden slug really be a good parent? I think not.

So here we go, you knew I was going to get there. I saw a woman get out of her car (throwing litter about as she got out), the cigarette hanging from her mouth and a cell phone attached to her ear as she spewed obscenities to whoever was on the other end of the phone. Her six year old looking child got himself out of the passenger side of the car (right, the kid should have been in the back seat and in a proper seat) and closed the car with a “crunch” as the side of the car had been all plowed into at one point by the evidence of its appearance. As the kid went around the back of the car, almost into traffic, the mother started screaming obscenities to the child about being “f-ing stupid” for walking near traffic. And so I thought, “What kind of life does this child have or will he have as he grows?”

To all of the “Christians” out there who don’t think it’s a healthy environment for a child to be brought up in a home with parents of the same sex, I say get out more often and see what is really raising the next generation and you’ll be begging us gays to take the next generation and clean them up like we did your inner city neighborhoods. We cleaned up cities, creating jobs and increasing property values, what makes you think we’re not going to do that with our children?

Still, to some the real enemies are those Mexicans who come over the border and give birth thus giving birth to an American citizen. Most of these undocumented workers are at least working folks I can’t say the same for the white trash population. Sure, I think that if you work in America, live in America or buy in America you should pay taxes. But I can’t help but think that the politicians behind these immigration efforts are more about their own political gain and helping the white man feel as though there are still more of “us” than there are of “them.” Before we start trying to “clean the borders and their English up” I wish someone would spend a little more time cleaning up the white trash population that seems to be increasing daily. I get that condoms are expensive and another baby means more welfare. And why not have another Nathan Nascar Thompson Jr. to add to your collection of kids if it means more welfare? But at some point we’re going to have to take the education of these white trash kids more seriously and help them out of the scummy world their uneducated and toothless parents brought them into because if we don’t we’re doomed to have The Jerry Springer show become the Sixty Minutes of the next generation. Or has it all ready? I’m not as worried about the illegal immigrants as much as I’m worried about the white trash Americans – Don’t Get Me Started!

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You Got Where You Are Because You Put Yourself There – A Lesson In Responsibility – Don’t Get Me Started!

“If only…” the words that immediately make me cringe and start to get so pissed off I suddenly look like Yosemite Sam with smoke coming out of both ears and a hopping about dance that can only truly be done justice in cowboy boots. I cannot tell you how many people in my life want to play “the victim” and this is something that I not only will not tolerate for myself but have little sympathy for anyone else. I don’t want to hear about the tragic circumstance you’ve gotten yourself into and how you have no idea how you’ll get yourself out of it. I want to hear the triumphant story of how you figured out how to get yourself in the proper headspace to get yourself out of whatever situation you’re in. Enough with the pity parties (before someone makes a reality series out of it) You got where you are because you put yourself there – a lesson in responsibility – Don’t Get Me Started!

Look, I get it, we’re a greedy little bunch who are not satisfied to keep up with the Joneses but also want to have so much more than the Joneses that when they look at us they’ll appear in a lovely shade of emerald green. We can blame Wall Street, the oil spill, big business, not being more “godly” or whatever you want but at the end of the day we create our own destiny based on the choices we make and whether or not we can learn enough from our own mistakes to not find ourselves back in the same position time and time again.

I have always prided myself on the fact that I can grieve over the loss of something (or someone) and find my way through to the other side enough to get on with things. I get that there are some people out there (especially those dealing with family or pet losses) that take longer but I’m not talking about those people. I’m talking about the people who walk around like Eyore, constantly gloomy, just waiting for a reason to have pity upon themselves enough to barricade themselves in their homes for a week eating bag after bag of Oreos and watching Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan movies. At some point don’t these people get tired of themselves?

The thing is that the more you give into “being overwhelmed” or “unable to see a solution” the longer it’s going to take you to get to the solution. If you start even with the smallest step toward cleaning the mess that is your life is up, you’ll be amazed how much easier the next step is to take. Pretty soon you’ve cleaned up most of the calamity and thank God for the rest of civilization, you’ve taken a shower and brushed those nasty teeth so we don’t have to smell you.

If you are one of those who are inclined to slide down the depression incline (and are not under a doctor’s care complete with prescription assistance) I would highly recommend that you start by washing the dishes in the sink. You’re the one who left them there so you clean ‘em up. Right, it’s a metaphor. Sure, the soapy water is going to take away a lot of the dirt and grime but sometimes you’re going to have to scrub a little bit to get that dish clean. What you’ll find is that the huge pile of dishes in the sink wasn’t all that difficult to clean, dry and put away. You’ll also discover just how much in denial you were when you see that you have about sixteen plates in there that all had cake on them at one point in the last forty-eight hours (the evidence being the used container in the garbage). You told yourself if you put it on a small plate or didn’t use the same plate that it would make you eat less. Well guess what? You’ve eaten the whole damn thing, so like life, you’ve overindulged and now you need to pay the price. Once the dishes are neatly stacked where they’re supposed to be you’ll find that somehow the kitchen looks more livable again. Your life is no different, get out that soapy water, scrub where necessary, admit to yourself where you’ve gone wrong and then organize yourself like those neatly stacked dishes so that you can begin to restack and rebuild your life.  It won’t be that long before you’re life is more livable again. And the best part? The rest of us won’t have to listen to you whimper and bitch anymore. I’m just sayin’. You got where you are because you put yourself there – a lesson in responsibility – Don’t Get Me Started!

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Ugh, It’s Baseball Season Again! – Don’t Get Me Started!

I bought the Yankees baseball cap at a Target. I liked the distressed look of the logo and I like New York so there you have it. I don’t look good in hats on the whole so finding one that looked okay and had New York represented on it seemed like a big win. (The only hat that has ever looked good on me is Mouseketeer ears, sad when you think about it as where can you really wear Mouseketeer ears, especially after forty?) This Yankees baseball cap is the only one I own and the only one I wear. I wear it on the weekends to go to Starbucks first thing in the morning or when I don’t think my hair (what’s left of it) looks presentable. Having said that, I forgot a long time ago there was a Yankees logo on it, it’s more practical than a fashion statement. And as I’m afraid I’m one of those old fashioned stereotypical gays who knows nothing about sports, I have no idea when the Yankees are playing, where they’re playing, who is on the team or how close they are or aren’t to the World Series. However, while I forget that I’m wearing a team logoed piece of merch, those interacting with me who do not know me at all do not know that I’m not so much not a Yankees fan as much as I’m not a fan of my hair that day, thus the need for the hat. Ugh, it’s baseball season again! – Don’t Get Me Started!

A dear friend of mine (who happens to be straight) has told me for years that I just don’t get how great baseball is as a sport, pastime, American tradition, etc., etc. And while I think I went to a Dodgers game once (it was a company outing) I don’t really remember it nor did I understand what was going on other than being amazed at the frequency of the vendors coming through the aisles to sell you food and beer unless you needed one of the other and then you never saw them. So I don’t have some sort of “incident” that happened to make me dislike baseball and honestly I have nothing against it or any other sport for that matter, it’s just not on my radar, shall we say.

The problem is that because I wear a Yankees hat, people think I’m a fan or know something about it. And it’s not just men, the elderly female teller at the bank stopped me last weekend and wanted to go on and on about how the team was faring, the games that were playing this weekend, some of the players, and on and on she went as I politely smiled and nodded acting as if I knew what we were talking about. Turns out that most people don’t really want your opinion, they just want to open the door so that they can give you theirs. And this teller certainly did that, causing at least a five minute delay in my schedule for the day and a line to form behind me.

I like to give the appearance of being cultured or at the very least well rounded so when the conversation turns to sports I tend to go into acting mode. I take the facial clues from the person talking to me to find out if I should scowl or nod in agreement. I act like I’m taking in every word and basically do an old therapy technique of simply “parroting” them back to get the conversation moving and done. When they ask me, “What do you think of the team this year?” I remark, “I don’t know, what is there to think about really? What do YOU think of them?” Works every time. Whoever asked the initial question has loads to tell me about what they think and eventually I can get my latte or stamped deposit slip and be on my way.

In the last four years or so of wearing the Yankees hat only once (a young male barista at Starbucks) ever said, “So, are you a Yankees fan or just wearing it for the fashion?” “Fashion” was my reply and needless to say he got a big tip and I got a break as he didn’t bother me with his opinion of the team’s current state which he obviously had ready in his arsenal should I have answered differently.

I guess the main thing is that I have no idea when baseball season happens. I know there’s something about “spring training” and so I guess that should let me know that it starts in the summer but it’s always a surprise when the first person of the season says to me, “Did you see them play last night?” I usually look around as if they’re talking to someone else, not realizing they’ve made a connection with my hat and not me. Then it hits me and I realize that I’ve got weeks of smiling and nodding ahead of me. So while my pals may love and understand baseball season, to me it’s just a damn inconvenience and causes me to have to act without getting paid for it. Ugh, it’s baseball season again! – Don’t Get Me Started!

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Maybe It’s Time For America To Start Making Products Again Instead Of Just Reality Stars – Don’t Get Me Started!

In speaking to someone recently regarding the HBO 2009 documentary, Schmatta: Rags To Riches (http://www.hbo.com/documentaries/schmatta-rags-to-riches-to-rags/index.html) about the garment district in New York and the garment industry in general, I began to wonder when it was that we stopped producing actual goods here in the states? I remember growing up seeing stickers that said, “Made in the USA” they were everywhere and now when I think about it, I can’t even remember the last time I saw one. Maybe it’s because so few things are actually made here in the good ol’ US of A anymore. Maybe it’s time for America to start making products again instead of just reality stars – Don’t Get Me Started!

When I think of the amazing products and technology that came out of the Industrial Revolution period in our history it’s seems sort of odd that the greatest thing we’ve done since is invent the iPod. Of course I’m over exaggerating but you with some sense out there must know what I mean. I remember being in school and having to try to “build a better mousetrap” or other contraptions as we learned about the Cotton Gin and what it did to revolutionize the plantations and harvesting of cotton. What will our children look at, the ShamWow? And is that even made in America?

Meanwhile, instead of people like Albert Einstein being lauded as heroes, we have rappers with rap sheets a million miles long (the longer the better apparently) and people lying, cheating and stealing to get onto reality shows so that they can parlay it into speaking engagements and a shot at being on Dancing With The Stars. Does anyone else see it? That we’re so engrossed in whether or not Mel Gibson is a racist loon ( I can assure you he is if the tapes and reports are accurate) instead of who is going to bring back clothing making and other industries not only back to America but make these industries better than before so that we can become the leader we once were. While we’ve been running around with our foam “Number 1” fingers sitting on our couches getting fatter and fatter, China and other countries have been working to make the products we want to buy cheaper and cheaper (not better, as we learned from the lead painted toys and the cheap drywall that kills you or what have you that we’ve bought from them) but my point is that somewhere along the way we’ve taken our eyes off the ball kids and we need to focus and get back into the game.

No, not the game of paying star athletes a bazillion dollars so that the youth of America thinks that it will be them in five years so there’s no reason to study or be educated but the game of ensuring our children understand the importance of a solid day’s work and also being able to have companies that will hire them for that day’s work.

Honestly people, what are we making here? Look at the label in your clothes, look under your coffee maker, look anywhere you like and let me know how many “Made in the USA” labels you find. We can blame the politicians who got their pockets lined in gold as they let the trade contracts get looser and looser over the years (both parties are to blame here) but I’m not interested in blame, I’m just wondering how long it’s going to take us to realize that we’re not making anything anymore. Sure some people have opened cupcake stores (and good for them) but is this what we’re going to look back on when we say, “The Industrial Revolution brought about the steam engine and in the 2000s we made cupcakes and reality shows about people who make cupcakes.” My what a proud moment that will be, huh?

Look, I can’t make anything other than perhaps one of those things where you fold the paper until you can put your index fingers and thumbs in it and move it in and out until you open the center flap and read someone’s fortune but please tell me there are some Americans out there making SOMETHING. Please tell me that there are kids out there more interested in finding a cure for cancer than being on American Idol. Please, please, oh please! Maybe it’s time for America to start making products again instead of just reality stars – Don’t Get Me Started!

What Happens When You Discover That YOU’VE Had It Wrong All The Time? – Don’t Get Me Started!

I like to think that I’m “with it” (as the kids used to say) or at the very least, that all my kvetching on this blog for the past four years has kept me in touch with what’s going on in the world and my own feelings about what’s going on. And while I have gone on endlessly about gay marriage and the rights we gays lack, the truth of the matter is that growing up, the thought of getting married never crossed my consciousness. If you were gay, you didn’t get married. And if you did find someone to spend your life with, you changed the pronoun when talking about him with older relatives and people who didn’t know you. I know, I know, this seems horribly antediluvian but I admit it, that’s how I’ve lived my life. While I write endlessly about gay marriage and my rights, I never wanted to be impolite or make anyone in the general public (or certain members of my family) uncomfortable. What happens when you discover that YOU’VE had it wrong all the time? – Don’t Get Me Started!

I’ve always had a problem about what to call the man in my life. I’ve tried everything on from boyfriend to husband and everything in between and nothing feels right. When we became Domestic Partners (in accordance with the laws of our state) last year, all of the paperwork stated that my guy was now my “spouse.” And while it’s not the most romantic term in the world, for all intents and purposes that’s what he is, my spouse. It still doesn’t feel right to me.  But let’s leave the semantics of what to call my spouse aside for the moment.

I was picking up a prescription for me and dropping off a prescription for my guy last week when the pharmacy tech asked me when I needed it, without thinking I said, “It’s not my prescription, it’s for my spouse. Could you have it ready for him to pick up tonight?” “Spouse” it just slipped out. And as effortless as it was to say it, the pharmacy tech just as effortlessly said, “Not a problem, he can pick it up tonight.” She didn’t seem uncomfortable, the walls didn’t start to crumble, no one jumped out from around the corner of the candy aisle with a “God Hates Fags” sign (believe me, I looked) nothing happened. Wait, something was happening, I started to feel proud. Proud? Why would I feel proud of calling someone I’ve shared my life with this many years my spouse to a total stranger? It wasn’t some big declaration to the world, it wasn’t some protest, it was just my soul slipping out, speaking for me and it felt good to get it out.

Lest you think I walk around in a worried state that people will find out that my spouse and I are together, I can assure you that we kiss and hug in airports when we are welcoming each other home, we eat off of one another’s plates in restaurants when we feel the need however we don’t make out in public because straight or gay that doesn’t appeal to me to participate in or to watch. I have been a proud gay man for many years now so why did it take so long to figure out how wrong I have been for so long? The simple answer is that I don’t know. The complicated answer is that I’m a people pleaser and I want to be liked so rather than possibly make someone else feel uncomfortable I’ll put on whatever character you want me to be to make you feel comfortable whether I know you or you’re a complete stranger.

I could be bitter that it’s taken me so long to figure out how to be okay with calling a spouse a spouse or I could choose to be glad that it didn’t take me another forty-something years to figure it out. I choose the last one! What happens when you discover that YOU’VE had it wrong all the time? – Don’t Get Me Started!

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Defenders Of Marriage – You Must Be Really Proud Of The Whole Heidi And Spencer Pratt Thing – Don’t Get Me Started!

I never watched “The Hills” and I never had a desire to watch it. Even when Heidi and Spencer were on every evening entertainment program I resisted them with great pride. I did see them on one episode of, “Help, I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here” and all that did was make me wonder why anyone would care about them at all in the first place let alone call them celebrities but now that The Hills is off the air apparently their marriage is being cancelled as well. While I don’t care about either one of them (or how many plastic surgery procedures they can have in a day) I do have to say that I love one thing about this whole train wreck. The straightees who keep telling us gays we’ll ruin marriage if we’re allowed to get married have yet another very public failure on their record and I love every minute of it! Defenders of marriage – you must be really proud of the whole Heidi and Spencer Pratt thing – Don’t Get Me Started!

I used to want the defenders of marriage (as between one man and one woman) to use Britney Spears’ ten minute Vegas wedding in their ads but now Speidi is here and they put on a much more compelling argument. Come to think of it, those of us who are fighting to get same-sex marriage approved should start using these bozos on OUR posters! The defenders of marriage always talk about the fact that marriage is designed for procreation. Not only did Speidi NOT procreate, everyone with any sense is delighted that they didn’t. Lest they think we’re choosing the worst possible representatives for straightee marriage as possible, remember there are still people like the slimy Warren Jeffs on the straightee mightier than thou list for them to use. If God hates fags, what must he think of these people mucking up marriage that supposedly He created and wanted us to keep most holy? I can tell you what he thinks, he’s throwing up like there’s no tomorrow (while his son Jesus holds his hair) that the religious for profit have made a killing trying to discriminate against fellow human beings based on their own skewed logic that they attribute to His teachings.

At the end of this month I will have been in a monogamous relationship with another man for twenty-two years. And while I acknowledge that the commitment made between two consenting adults should be designed to suit their own needs and decisions, my relationship echoes one of a more traditional nature. Neither of us has ever been unfaithful nor have we ever been separated, we have built a life together for one another and with one another. So someone please explain to me why the lack of a vagina in our bed makes our relationship less worthy of the rights that two drunken kids in Vegas or a fourteen year old told by an “elder” to marry a forty-six year old automatically get when they say, “I Do?”

Relationships are not an easy thing, whether it be with a spouse, a child or your banker. I’m not looking for some big pat on the back that I’m still with the same man after all these years, I don’t need validation from anyone but what I do need and deserve are the tax breaks and everything else that come with the marriages that are validated by the government. I’ve written about this many times before and I’m convinced the real problem people have is with the word “marriage” itself. If we all agree that marriage is a religious term then it has no place in anything that has to do with our government so make it “civil unions” for everyone when they apply, have them receive a certificate of “civil union” and then if they want to be recognized in their church or their coven, let their religious leaders decide to call it a marriage or something else. As I’ve said before, I don’t need the shoes and rice I need and deserve the rights as a tax paying American citizen.  But until that day arrives, go ahead straightees, hang onto your precious “marriage” for you only and the rest of us will continue to sit back and be amused by just how awful of a job you do of marriage. I don’t know that we’ll be any more successful than you straightees at marriage but we should at least get the opportunity to fuck it up as good as you’ve done lo these many centuries! Defenders of marriage – you must be really proud of the whole Heidi and Spencer Pratt thing – Don’t Get Me Started!

August 4, 2010 – Federal Judge expected to rule on Proposition 8. Stay informed at http://www.noh8campaign.com/

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Can Gays (And Those That Love Them) Really Boycott Target And Should We Even Try? – Don’t Get Me Started!

Last week I came across a video that was posted on YouTube (thanks to gayagenda.com). The video features the mother of a gay son who makes purchases at Target, returns them telling the manager of the store exactly why and explains to us what it means to be a lone voice in opposition when corporations do wrong doing. The reason for her act was promoted due to the fact that the Target Corporation gave $150,000 to a Minnesota gubernatorial candidate who has connections to anti-gay groups. Watching the video and listening to this articulate mother and grandmother pulled at my heart strings and I silently joined her protest and haven’t been to Target to shop since (watch the video here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SipXbgyi68) but I started wondering if this is the best approach and if the message will be heard and frankly if I can live without Target! Can gays (and those that love them) really boycott Target and should we even try? – Don’t Get Me Started!

“What’s important in life is people. I love the people in my life. I love them more than anything I can buy at this store.” This is the quote from the mother and grandmother that got me the most. When you think of anyone in your life, aren’t they more important than a cheap messenger bag or not having to be seen in Walmart? Absolutely. And while it seems so simple in her delivery, I think it speaks volumes about us and just how much we’re willing to be inconvenienced in this day and age.

I say this all the time but I look back at wars like World War I and II where the entire country banded together, making sacrifices of rationing certain foods, turning in metals to make aircrafts and weapons and I look at today where unless you know someone allowed to serve in the military, your life is not affected one bit. Maybe the modern wars wouldn’t go on so long if we all were a little more inconvenienced more than just having to watch uncomfortable scenes and statistics of deaths on our televisions (of course I think many just change the channel). So too I think is the way of the modern way of civil protest. How many of you reading this right now had a clue about this issue? I didn’t. Had I not been looking at gayagenda (a gay news reporting site) I wouldn’t know about it at all.

I could make the argument that I don’t live in Minnesota (where the Target headquarters is located) so really, what is boycotting Target in Vegas going to do to them? Will it stop the executives at Target who rely heavily on gay designers, workers and I’m sure even executives to continue to keep Target on target with all consumers as a hip, trendy and affordable place to shop from supporting politicians who support anti-gay sentiment in the future? Probably not but the question isn’t whether or not it WILL affect them, it’s whether or not I’m willing to be complacent and apathetic therefore affecting my own psyche.

I don’t shop at Target every week but as the weekend went on I couldn’t help but think of all the things I wanted to purchase there. Why? What sort of strange mental illness causes you to start wanting something as soon as Jiminy Cricket playing your conscience on your shoulder tells you that you shouldn’t? It took mere moments for me to rationalize that by me not spending money at Target it might affect shifts and staffing causing the (what I can only assume is partially a gay staff) at my local Target  to lose money and not be able to pay their rent. So was I really hurting the fat cats at the corporate office or was I hurting my fellow gays right here by not shopping there? I don’t think I spent more than $100 at Target last month so why all of a sudden did I want to get in bed with the “bad boy?” Certainly Target can’t be seen as some sort of forbidden fruit? (Okay, bad choice of words considering the subject matter.) And is my $100 going to change who corporate execs spend the company money on when supporting candidates and causes?

In a day and age where it’s easier to do what feels right for you instead of what’s right to do period I find myself knowing in the back of my head that at some point I’ll buy something at Target but for now, I won’t. Everyone of us has to make this call for ourselves but if you feel anything from watching this video or from this blog, I would hope that at the very least you’ll let Target know how off target they are – here is a link to the contact page and my email that I sent.

http://www.target.com/gp/help/display-contact-us-form.html?displayLink=tci

Here’s the response from Target:

Can gays (and those that love them) really boycott Target and should we even try? – Don’t Get Me Started!

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Why Can’t They Just Let American Idol Die With Some Dignity? – Don’t Get Me Started!

While all the rumors run rampant about judges leaving, new potential judges and Nigel Lythgoe coming back as producer to American Idol I find myself wondering what I wonder about so many things. I’ve always been and always will be someone who believes in quality not quantity. That goes for everything from chocolate to life. Lest you think that I’m an advocate of the Soylent Green approach to life (killing everyone when they get a certain age and then turning them into food for the rest of the population without their knowledge, “Soylent Green is made of people!” insert Charlton Heston’s pained face here), I assure you that I’m not but all it takes is watching one relative or friend slowly slip away as they’re eaten away by disease until they’re no longer even themselves that has shaped my belief that should the time come for me to languish away bit by bit I’ll be looking for someone better than Wyle Coyote to drop an Acme anvil on me. Wasn’t there a song about everything having a season? Well American Idol has now has its season now, many in fact, and it’s time for it to bow out gracefully. But where there’s money to be made there’s someone who is going to try and give it a facelift to line their pockets. Why can’t they just let American Idol die with some dignity? – Don’t Get Me Started!

I stopped watching American Idol about three seasons ago. I could barely get through watching the whole audition process, where they exploit people’s mental illnesses. I don’t care what you say, you have people on there who really think they can sing or are going to be superstars who can’t sing a note and while we all laugh at them we become a collective of couch bullies and I don’t have the stomach to be part of that group. Sure, you can say that they “let themselves” in for it by waiting in rain, sleet and snow for three days and then finally getting in front of the judges but would you be saying that if the people’s mental illnesses were more prominent than just a little self delusion?

Once the judges cast the show (and believe me they cast them more on the participants’ personal tragedy story than their singing abilities) the real torture begins of having to watch these kids try desperately to be “stars” while the judges offer little constructive criticism to help them because they’re more concerned with their own camera angle or creating a catch phrase. (Are you hearing me “Dog” – ‘cause I dunno that was just a-right with me and pitchy in places but mad props ya know I got love for you.)

I watched the first few seasons and I got everything you’re supposed to out of it. I wanted Kelly Clarkson to win and I felt personally responsible for her win but as time has marched on, the talent has gotten worse, the shows have gotten longer and perhaps worst of all, it seems as though those involved with the show began to believe that they were more important than the singers or the competition. You can applaud Simon for leaving but didn’t he stay too long at this fair too?

The American public has tastes that change rather quickly and I don’t think that’s a bad thing, I just think we have a short attention span and have to acknowledge it. I get that American Idol was a great idea when it first came out but it’s time has passed. Let it go. It’s like trying to get someone to love you after they’ve moved on, even if you get them back you’re going to have to sleep with one eye open for the rest of your life to make sure they’re not trying to chew through the restraints at night while you’re sleeping.  (whoa, have no idea where that came from but it’s so bizarre I’m leaving it in)

So let’s all put on our black t-shirt that’s just a little too tight and shows off our man boobs and mourn not only the passing of Simon Cowell leaving American Idol but the entire show. I don’t care if Simon thinks the show couldn’t survive without him, I don’t care if Ryan Seacrest has to find something he’s actually good at besides wearing suits that are tailored so tight that they make him look as if he has no circulation going to that big head of his and I don’t care if Randy Jackson and the rest of the lot have to go back to actual careers at something they were talented doing. It’s time to let it go. And while we’re at it, let’s start putting a few expiration dates on a few other shows: The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Survivor, Dancing With The Stars, So You Think You Can Dance, Real World (and every version of Real World Road Rules, whatever), all reality shows with “rock” star family men or rock stars trying to supposedly find love and finally turn Snooki and the gang from Jersey Shore over and you’ll discover that they’ve got until the end of 2011 before they’re rotten…oh wait, maybe they’re like a dented can, doesn’t matter what the expiration date is, you should still throw it away because it’s damaged goods. Why can’t they just let American Idol die with some dignity? – Don’t Get Me Started!

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